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原创翻译：龙腾网 翻译：Rainslw 转载请注明出处

Have-you-ever-gone-on-a-blind-date-Howd-it-go

你有什么样的相亲经历？具体有多奇葩？

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原创翻译：龙腾网 翻译：Rainslw 转载请注明出处​

​Ray Watson

I have been on a few blind dates.

It was very, very awkward.

Friends mean well, but they often cannot know what is going on inside your head.

I would always insist on at least a text contact, better a phone contact before arranging a date.

Failing that, get your friends who made the suggestion to come along with you both, and make it a bit of a general outing, to take the pressure off.

我去相过几次亲。场面一度非常，非常尴尬。 朋友们的本意是好的，但他们往往不知道你脑子里在想什么。 我会一直坚持至少有先来个短信接触，最好是在约会之前，能有一次电话联系。 如果做不到这一点，让你提出建议的朋友和你一起去，让它成为一次普通的郊游，这样可以减轻压力。

Christopher D. Hartpence

Several, over the years, and it’s been a mixed bag, which is about what I’d expect. After all, when you use online dating services or meet someone in person, you’re’ stacking the odds in your favor that you’ll at least be somewhat compatible (discounting, of course, the odd percentage of people who see the need to misrepresent themselves online), but with a blind date, you’re relying on people who think they know you to pre-sext on your behalf.

这几年来相过几次，这是一个说不准的事情，这也是我所期待的。 毕竟，当你使用网上约会服务，或与某人面对面约会时，也是在为你自己增加机会，你至少会在某种程度上与对方相匹配（当然，这还不包括那些，认为有必要在网上捏造自己条件的人），但相亲时，你要找那些了解你的人来为你预选。

Kirk Anderson

1.When I was younger, I fell in love with the cashier at a local supermarket. Every time I’d go to her till, my heart would skip a beat etc. One day I decided to just go for it and handed her a bouquet of flowers with my telephone number subtly slipped inside. That evening I receive a call. A sultry voice asked if I was the guy with the flowers. Butterflies in stomach, “Yes” I answered. “I’m her girlfriend, she doesn’t like men and if you continue to go to her till I’ll beat you up”. Needless to say I changed supermarkets.”

1.年轻时，我爱上了当地一家超市的收银员。 每次我去找她的时候，我的心都会跳个不停。有一天，我决定去找她，递给她一束花，花束里隐隐约约地塞着我的电话号码。 那天晚上我接到一个电话。 一个沉闷的声音问我，是不是那个送花的人。 我感到蝴蝶在胃里飞舞，“是的，”我回答。 “我是她的女朋友，她不喜欢男人，如果你继续找她，我会揍死你。” 不用说，后来我换了家超市

2. Growing up a couple of years later I met another woman online. We chatted for a month and then decided to meet up. According to her profile she was 30, a few years my senior.

On the pre-decided day I reached the cafe. I asked her how would i recognise her coz neither had I seen her nor had I seen her pic. She told me that she had dyes her hair blue. As I reach the cafe i see a woman. A BiG woman, I mean her size. She wasn’t a woman. She was a giantess. She was nothing like 30 but must have been in her late 40s. I approached her, introduced myself, sat across, ate & drank, chatted for three hours, went for a movie and then I dropped her at her house.Since that day haven’t called her or texted. I feel guilty for doing so but she lied about everything when we used to chat.The only way i can console myself & help my case of not being a crook is that i did not turn around after spotting her at the cafe.

长大了几年后，我在网上遇到了另一个女人。 我们聊了一个月，然后决定见面。 根据她的个人资料，她今年30岁，比我大四岁。

在预定的那天，我到达了咖啡厅。 我问她，我从未见过她本人，也未看过她的照片，怎么会认出她呢？ 她告诉我，她的头发染成蓝色。 当我到达咖啡厅时，我看到一个女人，一个庞大的女人，我是说她的身材。 她简直不是女人， 她是个女巨人。虽然她不像是30岁，但一定像是40岁。 我走近她，自我介绍，坐在那里，吃饭喝酒，聊天了三个小时，去看了电影，然后我把她送到了她家。从那一天开始，我没有给她打电话或发短信。 我为此感到内疚，但当我们过去聊天时，她对所有事情都撒了谎。

Ernie Carter

Who could expect it during a flight?

It''''s was a flight back to Vegas from O'''' Hare at night. I had a window seat and by the time she was here, she was looking for her seat, which is the aisle seat from mine. She looks in her 20s, sporting a dark ponytail, in a short black shirt held by two tiny strings, lovely striking face. Out of a whim, I said “do you want to take the window seat instead, yours is next to the aisle”. She seemed to be excited I said that, and offered(technically shoved) $20 to me in exchange for my seat. I declined it; she said I am being so nice. Then she said she had a friend she hadn''''t seen in five years who was also on the flight, insisted that I swop mine with his. But the flight attendants are not happy with her being tipsy, and insisted that everyone on board must be at their designated seat. She seemed a bit distraught by that, which I apologized for, but she thanked me for trying to help her. I ended up sitting next to her. She asked if I was going to Vegas, I said yes(why else would I be on this flight). We smiled at each other for a second. I thought that was it.

谁会想到飞机上的相亲呢？ 那是一个晚上从奥黑尔，飞回拉斯维加斯的航班。 我有一个靠窗的座位，当她来的时候，她正在找她的座位，那是我靠过道的座位。 她看上去20多岁，留着黑色的马尾辫，身穿有两条细绳的黑色短袖衬衫，可爱而醒目的脸庞。 我一时兴起说:“你想坐靠窗的位子吗，你的位子在过道旁边。” 我说这话时，她似乎很兴奋，并主动提出（严格地说）给我20美元来换我的座位。 我谢绝了，她说我太好了。 然后她说她有一个五年没见的朋友也在飞机上，坚持要我和她朋友交换位置。 但空乘人员对她的提议并不高兴，坚持要求机上的每个人都必须坐在指定的座位上。 她似乎有点心烦意乱，我为此道歉，但她感谢我试图帮助她。 最后我坐在她旁边。 她问我是否要去拉斯维加斯，我说是的（不然我为什么要坐这班飞机）。 我们互相微笑了一下儿， 我以为故事到此为止了。

Then we disclosed our respective age. She is 29, I am 22 almost. She asked if I am single, I said I am comfortable being single. She said I am too smart to be single, need a girlfriend. She then told me about her past relationships, divorces. She strikes as an experienced conversationist. When emphasizing her points, she tapped on me here and there. I got it. Then she got more touchly-feely, pinched my nipple while whispering to my ears. When she was illustrating how her current boyfriend losting interest in her, she demonstrated it by laceing her arms across my neck, her chin in my chest her eyes meeting mine; then putting her hip against mine, grabbing my arms, her head against my shoulder; and lastly holding my hands for a few seconds, which I glanced down at it, she then released the grip.

然后我们透露了我们各自的年龄。她29岁，我快22岁了。她问我是不是单身，我说是的，单身很舒服。她说我太聪明了，但不能一直都单身下去，我需要一个女朋友。然后她告诉我她过去的恋情，离婚。她表现得像个有经验的健谈者。在强调她的个人观点时，她不时地在浑身上下拍我。我知道了什么意思。

然后她变得更加让人敏感，一边捏着我的奶头，一边对着我耳语。

当她在说她的现任男友，如何对她失去兴趣时，她展示了这一点，她把她的胳膊放在我的脖子上，她的下巴放在我的胸前，她的眼睛注视着我的眼睛；然后她的臀部贴着我的身子，抓住我的胳膊，把头靠在我的肩膀上，最后握住我的手几秒钟，我低头看了一眼，然后她松开了手。

She later asked for my number, Facebook. I gave a random number. She then asked me to go to the club with her. I explained that I stopped by Vegas for a while but going somewhere else. She told me to if I want something, just go get it because I could die tomorrow. I remembered she said it several times before. I was thinking that she is being supportive for me going after my dream job, making big money like she did, like inspiring me in a sort of way. Then I realized there is something else in the message. Her feelings maybe. But I kept thanking her for being supportive while kept blocking my other senses. I didn''''t know why I did that. Maybe due to fear of being with a tipsy woman can cause trouble, being seduced into a fate worse than death, I mean, women has been renowned to jail men because they claimed to be drunk. I am not familiar with her culture, and age gap is big deal. All of this was going too fast. I was totally unprepared for it. Her earlier enthusiasm seemed to fade when she thought I am not into her. She called her friends, speaking in her language how she is disappointed about this encounter, saying “he doesn''''t understand it”. Well, I don''''t know how I should react. After that, she and I didn''''t say a word. Before she moved out of the plane, she looked at a few times right at my face with her poker face, totally emotionless. I didn''''t know what else to do, just smiled back. She then chatted with that five-year lost friend at the gate and disappeared into the crowd…

后来她问我要了我的号码和脸书。我给了一串随机的数字。然后她让我和她一起去俱乐部。我解释说，我在拉斯维加斯停了一段时间，但要去别的地方。她告诉我，如果我想要什么，就去拿，因为我明天可能会死。我记得她前面说过几次。我在想，她是在支持我去追求我梦想的工作，像她一样赚大钱，像是以某种方式激励我。然后我意识到消息中还有其他东西。也许是她的感情。

但我一直在感谢她的支持，同时不断地阻挡我的其他感官。我不知道我为什么这么做。也许是因为害怕和醉醺醺的女人在一起，会带来麻烦，被引诱到比死亡更糟糕的命运，我的意思是，女人一直以让男人声称喝醉坐牢而出名。

我不熟悉她的思想，年龄差距也是很大的问题。所有这一切都进行得太快了。我对此完全没有准备。当她认为我对她不感兴趣时，她早先的热情似乎消退了。她打电话给她的朋友，用她的语言说她对这次邂逅感到多么失望，说“他不明白”。我不知道我该怎么反应。从那以后，她和我一句话也没说。在她搬出飞机之前，她用她的扑克脸看了我几次，完全没有感情。我不知道还能做什么，只是笑了笑。然后她在门口和那个失散了五年的朋友聊天，消失在了人群中…

Christian Dechery

Yeah, I had my share.

Most were crap. Some were good. Only a couple were great.

The ones I remember the most, of course, are the very worst and very best.The worse was (if I remember correctly) also one of the first (pre dating-websites era, mind you). It started with a sequence of bad luck, it had all the signs. First, I crashed my car in the garage while trying to get out. I got stuck there because I didn’t have a working remote, so I needed to wait for some neighbor to come in and open the gate for me. Of course I was late, and when it finally happened, I rushed, was nervous - crashed. Ruined the right side, by the front wheel.So I meet the girl, she was kinda cute, but 10min into the date I was absolutely sure she was a fucking pain the ass, and we had a dinner and a movie planned. I was already very stressed from the crash - now this?Anyway, maybe I’ll just hook up with her anyway, fool around a bit (I was probably 18 at the time, full of hormones) and probably we’ll never see each other again. Yep? No. She was definetly into me, but kept pushing me back and kept wanting to cuddle at the same time. Fuck! What a nightmare.

是的，我有。大部分都是垃圾。有些还不错。只有几个人很棒。

我记得最深的那些，当然是最糟的和最好的。更糟糕的是(如果我没记错的话)也是最早的(前网站约会时代，请注意)。它开始于一系列的厄运，而且早就有迹象。

首先，我在试图下车的时候把车撞到了车库里。然后我被困在那里，因为我没有遥控器，所以我需要等待一些邻居进来，并为我打开大门。理所当然，我迟到了，最后的时候，我急匆匆的，紧张的崩溃了。最后我遇到了那个女孩，她有点可爱，但约会10分钟后，我绝对确定，她是那种令人讨厌的混蛋，我们计划吃一顿饭，看一场电影。撞车后我已经很有压力了，现在又这样了？不管怎样，也许我会和她在一起，闲逛一下(当时我大概18岁，荷尔蒙正充沛)，也许我们再也见不到对方了。是吗？没有。她明确地看上了我，但一直在想拥抱在同一时间，不停将我推开。操!真是个噩梦。

Franklin Veaux

Yes. I met someone on OK Cupid and we became good friends but not romantic partners. She had a friend she thought I might like, so she set up a blind date with her friend.

Her friend and I hit it off instantly and had crazy sexual chemistry. We had planned to go out to dinner but we didn''''t even make it that far before we had sex. We had an intense, electric sexual connection that was a lot of fun.

We ended up dating for…oh, year, year and a half, maybe. Not very long.[1] we had an amicable breakup over some incompatibilities that emerged while we were dating. Today we’re friends, but no longer lovers.

I tend to think of a relationship as a “new relationship” until it hits about the four or five year mark.

是的。我在OK Cupid上认识了一个女生，我们成了好朋友，但不是那种浪漫的伴侣。她有一个朋友，她认为我可能会喜欢，所以她给她的朋友安排了一次相亲。她的朋友和我相见恨晚，发生了疯狂的性爱化学反应。我们本来计划出去吃饭，但在我们做爱之前，我们甚至都没去过那么远的地方。我们有一个强烈的，来电的性爱关系，这是非常有趣的事情。

我们现在停止约会。。。额。哦，差不多一年半了，也许吧。反正不是很久。我们因为约会时出现的一些不兼容问题，而友好分手了。今天我们仍然是朋友，但不再是情人。我倾向于认为，一段感情是一种“新感情”，直到它达到了四五年时间的大关。

Meran Berwyck

Twice! I should have learned from the 1st one!

Both were before I ‘came out’ as transgender and not too soon after my divorce. I placed an ad in the local paper personals section. I didn’t think I’d get the number of results I did. For privacy reasons, the paper receives the replies and lets you know you have mail! I picked up the replies and opened just one.It was from a girl who lived about 45 mins from me. She described herself and included a photo. It was very interesting. I called her and we talked a good while. To meet, she suggested I come to her house (it was Thanksgiving) for dinner. I said okay.

两次！我应该从第一次开始学习经验！这两个都是在我成为变性人“出柜”之前，也是在我离婚后的不久。我在当地报纸的个人版块刊登了一则相亲广告。我没想到我会得到这么多的回复。出于隐私原因，报纸会收到回复，并让您知道您有邮件！我拿起回复，只打开了一封，是一个女孩写的，她住在离我大约45分钟的地方。她描述了自己，并附上了一张照片。非常有趣。我给她打了电话，我们聊了好一会儿。为了见面，她建议我去她家(那天是感恩节)吃晚饭。我说好的。

When i got there, the house was an older one, about 70 yrs old or older but it looked like a nice place. There were a bunch of kids there, some were hers and the others were her sister’s. I could smell the turkey in the air when I walked in. I was introduced politely and asked to sit in the front room with the kids. No sooner had I sat down, I noticed roaches running everywhere! All over the furniture, across the floor, etc.! A couple of the kids asked me to play a board game with them on the coffee table. They set it up and of course, the roaches began crawling over the board as well. The kids were used to them, like pets, but instead of ignoring them, they would smash them dead wherever they saw them, even on the game board! It was gross! I wondered how clean dinner would be!

当我到达那里的时候，房子是一个老房子，大约70年或更老，但它看起来像一个很好的地方。那里有一群孩子，一些是她的，其他的是她姐姐的。当我走进去的时候，我能闻到空气中的火鸡味。我被礼貌地介绍了一下，并请我和孩子们一起坐在前厅。我刚一坐下，就注意到蟑螂在到处乱跑！家具上到处都是，地板上都是，等等！

有几个孩子让我和他们一起在咖啡桌上玩棋盘游戏。他们设置好了它，当然，蟑螂也开始在黑板上爬行。孩子们习惯了它们，就像宠物一样，但他们不会忽视它们，他们会在看到蟑螂的任何地方把它们砸死，甚至是在游戏板上！太恶心了！我想知道晚餐会有多干净！

Well, when the food was served it was put on a long table and we all helped ourselves to the delicacies. I didn’t see any roaches on the table (yet). When I finished my plate of food, my date offered me to get a 2nd helping, to just help myself. When I went back to the table, it was full of roaches - all over every bit of food and dish! I quickly decided not to get the 2nds and put my plate in the kitchen sink.I returned to my seat on the couch and then realized roaches had taken over my seat too! I had to swat them away before I could sit down. I also realized my coat was covered with them, that when I get a chance to leave, I would not put it back on! I made whatever excuses I could to say I had to go and left with a broken promise I’d call her again. I put my coat in the back of my truck bed and drove home. I knew I had to have little roaches crawling on me, they tickled as I drove! When I got home, I shed all my clothes outside my apartment door. I didn’t want her brood of roaches infecting my home! I took a long hot shower and got dressed. I put on gloves and put my other worn clothes in a garbage bag and tied it shut and put it in the back of my truck, that I’d wash them at the local laundromat later. I still wonder if she realized why I didn’t ever return a call to her!

嗯，当食物端上来的时候，它被放在一张长桌上，我们都随意享用了美味佳肴。我没有看到桌子上有蟑螂。当我吃完我的盘子的食物，我的约会对象提出让我随意点，再去来一碗。当我回到桌子上时，桌子上到处都是蟑螂，到处都是，食物和菜肴上！我很快决定不吃第二碗，把我的盘子放在厨房的水槽里，我回到沙发上的座位上，然后意识到蟑螂也占据了我的座位！在我坐下之前，我不得不把它们擦走。我也意识到我的外套上覆盖着它们，当我有机会离开时，我不会再穿回去了！我尽我所能地找借口说我必须走了，带着一个失信的诺言离开了，我会再给她打电话。我把外套放在卡车床的后面，开车回家。我知道我肯定有小蟑螂爬在我身上，它们在我开车时让我发痒！当我回到家时，我把所有的衣服都扔在了公寓门外。我不想让她的一窝蟑螂感染我的家！我洗了个长时间的热水澡，然后穿好衣服。我戴上手套，把其他旧衣服放在一个垃圾袋里，把它绑起来放在我的卡车后面，等会儿我会在当地的自助洗衣店洗。

我仍然想知道，她是否意识到为什么我从来没有回过电话给她！

John Miller

college, my so called friends set me up with this completely boring and unattractive female while they had fun with the fun, attractive ones. I never forgave them.

上大学时，我所谓的狐朋狗友们，给我安排了一个完全无聊、毫无吸引力的女生，而他们却和有趣的、有吸引力的女生们一起，玩得很开心。我永远都不会原谅他们。

Kura Stelmor

I''''ve never done blind dates. Blind dates are usually created by people that don''''t fully know your deep personal opinions . You might find someone with similar interests or an almost exact copy of yourself but it could get boring real fast.

我从来没有相亲。相亲通常是由不完全了解你的人创造的。你可能会找到一个有着相似兴趣的人，或者和你几乎一模一样的人，但很快就会变得很无聊。

Phil Dickelson

Worst blind date experience? I got set up on a date with a lady, she was very nice, but she had a very thin mustache and thin sideburns. But, she was a lady though, I’m 95% sure at least. Very nice person, but I couldn’t deal with the facial hair. I got through the date, but never called her after that

最糟糕的相亲经历？我被安排和一位女士约会，她人很好，但她有稀薄的胡子和稀疏的发际线。但是，她是个淑女，我至少有95%的把握。她是很好的人，但我不能接受面部的毛发。我去了约会，但之后再也没有给她打过电话

Dieter Neth

When travelling in Mexico, I had befriended this irish-born boat owner from the U.S. who was hellbent about getting married to a Mexican girl. Sort of an uphill battle in a town of 5000, he was trying for months already. So when he spotted the two young women who had rented the room next to his for the weekend he announced that he was to go to invite them for a boat ride - and I was to come along as his wingHe was considerably older than me with 27, both lifelong bachelors.

在墨西哥旅行时，我曾与这位来自爱尔兰的爱尔兰裔船东结为朋友，后者对与墨西哥女孩结婚感到不满。 在5000个城镇中，他找对象有点艰难，他已经尝试找了几个月。 因此，当他发现周末在他旁边租房间的是两个年轻女人时，他宣布他要去邀请她们乘船游览。我将作为他的侧翼前来护卫。他比我大，27岁 ，两个人都是一辈子的单身狗。

That double blind date would yield quite some results. It was to be my only date in this life! Double marriage, just as my friend told me! I had dismissed this idea as being totally nuts. But he married his girl on February 1990 and we did so on April 11 th 1990. Both marriages were for the long run!

那次双人相亲会结出了丰硕的成果。 这是我这辈子唯一的约会！ 双人相亲并且结婚，就像我朋友告诉我的那样！ 我曾经认为这个想法完全是白日做梦。 但他于1990年2月娶了他的女朋友，我们于1990年4月11日结婚。两对婚姻都是冲着天长地久！